Feedback Thoughts

 Receiving Feedback 

    From the list of articles dealing with receiving feedback, the two that most stuck out to me were "Why It's So Hard to Hear Negative Feedback", from the New York Times, and "Why rejection hurts so much - and what to do about it", a blog on the TED website. I feel like both articles had similar ideas, that our brains are literally wired to react poorly to negative feedback and we just have to change the way we think about feedback. 

    In the New York Times article, I like how they talked about how it is also difficult to give negative feedback. I have a lot of trouble with doing that, especially with people close to me, until I get angry, so I like how the New York Times said that giving negative feedback only works if both parties are open about the reason for doing it. That would mean that just explaining that you're giving this feedback from a positive place instead of a negative place would make it easier to give negative feedback. 

    I especially liked the explanation for why we react so badly to negative feedback given in the TED article. They said that scientists think we evolved this way because being alone in the past was a death sentence, and so those with very intense reactions to feedback survived and passed on the gene. It makes complete sense that that is what was might have caused our brains to be this way because after receiving back feedback it really does feel like you're ostracized sometimes. Since we live in the society we do I think that it's not as important to fit into the group, so it would be nice if we could unwire our brains to react like that, but it makes sense why we have that. 

    At the moment I cannot think of any specific feedback I have gotten, but I know growing up I was extremely sensitive to negative feedback. I was so sensitive that I would change my behavior based on things my sister would get yelled at for. I think personally something that would be good for me would just be not putting so much importance on pleasing other people and focus more on if I am being a good person, worker, or student. I could then take the feedback I get and try to objectively apply it to my life, instead of getting negative feedback and shutting down or giving up on whatever I'm doing. 

Here's a meme about receiving feedback I found that I also feel a little personally attacked by, but that means I can practice my receiving feedback skills!

(Meme created on imgflip by user dnrevel)